The power of forgiveness

When I went through a divorce after years of a struggling marriage, my ex asked if I forgave him. I was confused. I didn’t feel that forgiveness was in my power. I didn’t feel any judgment toward him – I just needed to not argue anymore. But forgiveness was important to him so I said I didn’t hold anything against him and wouldn’t have changed a thing – we had had a great life with lots of friends and two wonderful little girls. We were just too different to stay together and it was time to part friends – but definitely to part.

When I walked away, I felt no bad feelings toward him. I just felt free and ready to get back into the world again, to get back to a positive, high-energy place.

Throughout my life, I’ve known plenty of people who are bitter about relationships and about splits and I see the bitterness weigh on them. It’s heavy. It steals their energy and their focus and holds them to part of the past that’s done. It makes them miserable and it can make them kind of miserable to be around. Continue reading

The importance of showing up

Like any business, you have a brand. If your brand is strong, it might be “100% guaranteed.” Or “Always on time.” You may be known for having an open heart. A generous soul. A guaranteed laugh.

If your brand is feeling a little tarnished, you have the power to change that simply by showing up – physically and mentally. When you show up to a conversation, you listen with intent. When you show up to a function, you show up on time and fully take part. You make promises only when you know you can keep them. Continue reading

The significance of choices

Is it too mysterious to think that for every major choice in your life where you headed off in a new direction that you also continued in the original direction?

That you simultaneously went to more than one college.

That you have your current friends and you have friends from that other life, the one you’re not living.

That you got divorced and you stayed with your ex. Continue reading

The magic of choosing with intent

Every presentation I give on organization starts with a discussion of intent. I ask people to take a quiet moment to think about why they came to the talk. And then there’s that awkward moment: If someone can’t think of a reason why they’re there, I suggest they step out. No one’s ever taken me up on this, but I’m serious! If you’re somewhere you don’t want to be, your focus and energy aren’t there. And other people pick up that which means you’re not only wasting your time, but you’re messing with the overall energy in the room. Continue reading

When things go out of control

Do you ever have one of those days, or weeks, or months, where everything seems out of control? People tell you not to worry, that, “Mercury’s in retrograde.” And you’re like, “My life is in retrograde!”

When you’re faced with the overwhelming, it helps to picture your mind as a big sky – vast, and limitless. And this “thing” that’s happening? It’s such a small thing in that vast sky. The “thing” isn’t everything. It’s a tiny piece of a big sky. That’s everything.

And that immovable block? What can you build on it? Continue reading

Making a new habit a priority

When you’re working on something you really connect with, you get more done. It’s weird to think that adding something to your “to do” list helps you do more – but it does. When you work on stuff you love:

  • Your energy goes up.
  • Your focus improves.
  • You manage your time better because you want to make sure you have time to get to your good work.
  • You’re more interesting to be around.
  • You feel better.

Quiet, mid-Winter days are a great time to ponder a new habit. Successful new habits start with intent – why do you want to do this?

Then you have to figure out how to make this new habit a priority. Doctor and author Lissa Rankin has a great exercise to help you figure out your priorities. Take a plain piece of paper and draw a stack of circles. Each circle is a core part of who you are. Each is something that makes you tick and makes you happy. Continue reading

Did you have fun last weekend?

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

What’d you do last weekend? Anything fun? Anything “story-worthy?”

A common regret at the end of life is that you lived a life others expected of you and weren’t always true to yourself. That you had ideas but didn’t listen to your gut. Some of this comes from being raised to “get along.” And some comes from the ease of doing things that are expected rather than really thinking about what you like to do. And then having the courage to do it! Continue reading