Choosing to be consciously cozy

Think about some of the best times in your life. How many of them were times you spent with family or friends, cozied up in a quiet place enjoying simple times with good people? Candles were lit. Maybe there was a storm outside. Maybe there was a game. There was definitely great conversation. Everyone felt included and everyone loved being part of the group.

If you’re like most Americans, these times “just happen”. In Denmark, hygge (pronounced hoo-gah), is about striving to create these times, to be “consciously cozy”. What an awesome choice in a time of uncertainty, unsettling change, and elitism.

Here’s how the Danes define hygge: Continue reading

Getting to the BIG stuff

When you’re thinking of BIG things you’d like to do in this lifetime, block out some quiet time, do a little quiet breathing (in through your nose and out through your mouth helps you think more clearly!), and make a couple of lists.

  • List #1 is stuff you’re already working on that you want to do more of.
  • List #2 is stuff you’ve always thought of doing but have never dared start.
  • List #3 is an outrageous brainstorm list, weird stuff that is super compelling, that raises your energy just to think of it, and that you’ve never given much thought to – until maybe right now.

Set the lists aside and go about your day. These need to cook for a while. Continue reading

The importance of spending time alone

An artist needs time to create. A writer needs time to work out a story. A musician needs time to play and to compose. A saint needs time to pray.

Alone-time lets you refill the pitcher of your life from all the little daily leaks and keeps your soul from running dry.

Such are the musing of Anne Morrow Lindbergh in Gift from the SeaAnne was married to Charles Lindbergh and was a fellow aviator and accomplished author. She survived the abduction and murder of her first child, went on to have five more children, and outlived her famous husband by decades finally passing at the age of 94. Continue reading

Lessons from “Creative Week”

The week between Christmas and New Year’s tends to be quiet for business, so I decided to christen this “Creative Week”. I have a number of projects I love to do that I don’t make a top priority – so they don’t get done. I thought this week could be rich for creative production – layered in with just two hours of work-work each day.

Normally, I set an intent for what I want to carry out, plan in time, and track what gets done – but that didn’t feel right for Creative Week. However, working on a complete whim was too big a challenge for a planner/tracker, so I brainstormed a list of creative stuff I wanted to get done. This included everything from running and meditation, to practicing the guitar, to making beaded bags, to reading, to writing for long periods of time. Continue reading

Getting in the question habit

I recently read a great study by psychologist Arthur Aron positing whether two strangers could fall in love simply by asking each other a series of 36 questions. The first 13 questions are about how we present ourselves. The next 13 are about what we dream of and what we value. The last 13 are about friendship, family, and partners.

And here’s the clincher. At the end of the 36 questions, the two strangers have to face each other and look into each other’s eyes for 4 minutes. Aron says 2 minutes doesn’t do it – that’s simply terrifying. It’s at 4 minutes that things start to happen. Continue reading

The gift of presence

I worked as a volunteer at the Center for Grieving Children for about five years. The Center is a place families go to help express their grief in a safe and kind setting. Families go on a specific night each week and each member of the family meets with an age-appropriate group. Families attend for as long as they want – which is sometimes a few weeks, and sometimes over a year.

love-really-countsOne adult who was in my group for a long time told me her time at the Center was the only time all week she was herself – the rest of the time she was faking it, even with her kids, trying to seem happy and “get over” the death of her husband.

Some weeks at the Center she had no words. Other weeks she was depressed. Sometimes her issues were the loss. Other times she needed to talk about how hard it was to suddenly be a single parent. And some weeks she was happy and didn’t feel guilty about expressing that. Continue reading

Spend time with your senses

If you’re looking for a way to decelerate for a few minutes, I’d highly recommend spending time with your senses. I work my way through some or all of these when I meditate.

Start with the senses you’re most familiar with, then work your way into the senses you don’t think about as often. That’s where the sensations really get interesting! Continue reading

9 tips to be more productive

You’d like to be more productive.

  • You want to get more done
  • You want more control over your time
  • You want to be dependable
  • You feel edgy about things that aren’t getting done
  • You want to look back on 2017 and realize it was your best year yet

So how do you get there? There are lots of right ways. The trick is to make your own rules and to give yourself time to form new habits.

You can put this off. Or you can get started. Here are a few thoughts to get your energy flowing in a new direction.

Continue reading

Finding balance in crazy times

It’s easy to feel out of balance in crazy, hectic times (post-election, holiday, end-of-year). But as crazy as the world feels, balance comes from within you. It’s not what’s going on around you; it’s what you do and how you react to things. Balance is something you have control over.

Not convinced? Try this.

Sit quietly for five minutes (set a timer) and think about what the most important things are in your life that help you feel balanced. Five minutes isn’t long and that’s intentional. You don’t need deep thinking on this. You know what’s important to you.

Jot your ideas down as you go. Your list could be three things or twenty things. What matters is that this is your list of whatever comes up in five minutes. Continue reading