Get out of the briar patch

It’s so important in life to do what you say you’re going to do and to be fully committed. But if you feel your energy drain when you’re in your briar patch or even think about your briar patch, it might be time to get out.

The weird thing about briar patches is they’re not all that easy to get into – whether your briar patch is a job, a house, a relationship. You worked hard to get where you are! And we all like forward motion so the tendency is to keep moving, hoping that things will magically get better. Continue reading

The art of deciding

You may think you make a lot of decisions, but most of what you do each day is driven by habit. What time you get up. What you eat for breakfast. What you do for exercise. How you get to work. Even the conversations you have can be driven by habit. “You say this. Then I say that. Then you say this.”

So it’s no surprise that when you have to make a decision, it can be hard on your brain and rather unsettling – especially if it’s a decision that leads to big changes – like where you live. Or go to school. Or who you date or marry. Or what you do for work.

I like living a Zen life and feeling unsettled is very un-Zen. So how do we make decisions easier? Continue reading

When you’re having a bad day…

I’m just finishing an audio version of Sharon Salzberg’s book Real Happiness at Work. Sharon’s focus, as always, is on practicing loving kindness.

Here are three tips  from Sharon if you’re having a bad day: Continue reading

A community takes action

This incredible story ran in yesterday’s Washington Post.

What was incredible to me was that help was on the way. Police were on the scene. But someone – one person in a large crowd of beach-goers – decided to take action. And that one person and their one decision helped save at least one if not all ten of the people, including two children, who were stuck in a horrendous riptide.

There are a number of studies that show most humans will not help if they think someone else is going to step up to the plate. Those studies say if you want help and a crowd is nearby, you need to point your finger at one specific person and ask, “Will you help me?” Continue reading

Connecting from the heart

Last weekend, I attended my daughter’s “White Coat” ceremony at Duke University. This signifies the end of Sam’s formal schooling to complete her doctorate in Physical Therapy. Now she has a year of travel to learn hands-on skills from experts in her field.

At the graduation ceremony, small teams presented posters on their specific area of study. Being a bit of a science geek, I went over early to read as many of the studies as I could. They were all cool (i.e. you are just as likely to wipe yourself out with CrossFit as you are with any other high-intensity workout), but the one I liked most was “The Role of TA (Therapeutic Alliance) in Managing Chronic Pain.”

I know that sounds like, “What?” but picture this. Continue reading

Building a strong core

When you’re centered with who you are and how you express yourself, your work and mind are steady. And on the occasions you’re pushed out into a wide arc, having a strong, central core will help keep you from toppling.

What are five elements that are so vital to how you think and act and know yourself, that if any one was missing, you’d be out of sorts and easy to topple? What’s at your core? Continue reading

The Joy Habit

Do you close each day thinking about things you’re grateful for?

At two different talks this past week, someone asked me about keeping a gratitude journal. I track everything in a planner and hadn’t thought about tracking gratitude. But why not?

Continue reading

Finding your tribe

Yesterday, I drove 4-1/2 hours to Presque Isle, Maine for a one-hour class. Then I drove home again.

Why? Because John Cariani, a Broadway actor and author of the #1 most rented show in 2016, Almost Maine, was teaching a Master Class in writing. I knew I wouldn’t learn a lot in an hour of teaching, but I wanted to make the connection because John is part of the tribe I like to hang with.

One of the best pieces of advice I’ve gotten as an entrepreneur is to find other people who do what you do and figure out a way to hang out with them. If you like someone’s blog, read it, comment on it, and engage with the author at a conversational level. If you want to act, find other actors and figure out a way to hang out with them. If you want to write, join an association of writers or find people in your area who write and ask if they want to get together to talk. Continue reading

Listening to silence

I’m listening to Eckhardt Tolle’s audio book Peace in the Present Moment. Being present and having a clear intent about how you spend your time is only a small part of what I talk about in my Organizational Zen presentations – so it’s awesome to hear six or seven hours on this one topic!

My big takeaway yesterday was on silence. We all know we could use more of it – but then what do we do with it? In our society, silence is an uncomfortable state. If you’re at a meeting or a party where everyone is quiet, there’s almost a race to fill the void with talking, a joke, data… Or when we get home to turn on the radio or TV. It almost feels sinful to be caught somewhere without something to do or something to think about or to listen to. When we have a quiet minute, we grab our phones or a magazine or a book. We dare not be caught in a moment of silence! Continue reading